There is Hope For Your Marriage After Sex Addiction

marriage after sex addiction

Most couples feel lost after the discovery or disclosure of a sexual addiction. There is so much confusion, fear, and loneliness. There are so many unanswered questions. Many couples want to try and make it work, but they just don’t know how. Neither of them even knows if it is possible.

With Comfort Christian Counseling's Intensive, you will have the benefit of receiving treatment from a couple who has been where you are and found freedom.  Jeff and Ella Hutchinson are a testimony to God's ability to heal a marriage when both of the parties are willing to do the work it takes.

Prior to the Intensive

Once you are accepted for an intensive, we begin the process with individual phone or face-to-face sessions with each partner. We also offer support groups via Zoom web conferencing for the husbands and for the wives (separately) who are preparing for an intensive or have recently completed an intensive. A new addition to our program, these groups have proven to be greatly successful. We have consistently received positive feedback for this optional, but highly beneficial component to our program. Through these important steps, we hope to establish a comfortable relationship and develop an understanding of a couple's particular background.

What to Expect at the Intensive

The intensive is intense. You will be exhausted. It is not for everyone. During the Intensive, Jeff Hutchinson, CPSAS (Certified Pastoral Sexual Addiction Specialist) and Ella Hutchinson, LPC, CCSAS (Certified Clinical Sexual Addiction Specialist), will dedicate three days to you and your spouse alone. You and your spouse will receive our complete attention and focus during the entire three days.

Individual and couple's counseling combined with experiential exercises will help you find healing and hope after the devastation sex addiction has brought to your marriage. We will also equip you both with a road map for navigating the path of life after sex addiction has invaded your marriage.

Before, during, and after the Intensive there is the potential for you and your spouse to receive countless hours of counseling, all included in the cost of the intensive. Unlike many sex addiction clinicians who have an addict-centric approach to treating couples, we work from the trauma model for partners which is a partner-sensitive approach. We do our best to make sure both the addict and the partner receive the treatment and attention they need and deserve.

Issues addressed within a 3-Day Couples Intensive may include:

Ella and Jeff Hutchinson

Ella and Jeff Hutchinson

  • Importance of truth and why your marriage will never heal without it. (full clinical disclosure with polygraph test the first day)
  • Understanding sex addiction
  • Understanding trauma the spouse has suffered due to the addiction
  • Sex Addiction Recovery tools for the addict
  • Finding healing for the spouse
  • Finding healing for the marriage
  • The process of forgiveness
  • Setting boundaries
  • Grieving losses
  • Creating intimacy
  • Healthy sexuality
  • Rebuilding trust

Due to the secrecy of sex addiction, it is often hidden for years before the spouse finds out. Other couples struggle for years as one partner continues to find new evidence of pornography use or other forms of sexual acting out and the other partner continues to make unfulfilled promises to stop. This is because a sex addict cannot stop their behavior on their own.

A couple's intensive can show you the steps that must be taken to finally find freedom. Unfortunately many therapists, even those who specialize in sex addiction, too often do not see these steps as a priority. If you have not had success with other therapists, or have been trying to do this on your own for too long, we would like to offer some support.

One-Day Aftercare Program

Three months after a couple has completed an Intensive, Comfort Christian Counseling offers a One-Day Aftercare Program to reinforce what the couple learned and address areas where they are still struggling. Within this stage, we will discuss how to achieve further growth, intimacy and trust building.  Additionally, the Aftercare Program includes a follow up polygraph for the addict so that they may live a life free from secrets and maintain sexual sobriety, and provide the partner peace of mind that there are no new secrets. The cost of the aftercare program is separate.

Continued support and follow-up with periodic polygraph exams are offered and encouraged.

All a sex addict needs is a genuine desire to stop his behavior and willingness to reach out for help.

As the spouse of a sex addict, you cannot force your partner to get help, but if you both are motivated for treatment, anything is possible.

Our Intensive is not for every couple.  Among other things, we must see a desire to remain in the marriage from both partners and a significant level of motivation for recovery from the addict.  To be considered for an Intensive BOTH the husband and wife must fill out a confidential and brief application.  Once we have received both applications, Jeff or Ella will contact you.

Testimonial from a 3-Day Couples Intensive

"The Intensive was an amazing experience. It has changed my marriage and without Jeff and Ella I am not sure my wife and I would be so connected through all the difficultly of my sex addiction. The experience of the Intensive was comfortable and professional. The Intensive was one of the hardest things I have done being a sex addict for over 15 years. However, it was also one of the best experiences I ever had as well. Both Jeff and Ella were amazing. I have tried other programs and some of the"best" counselors in the past, failing to stay sober. Jeff and Ella's approach is like nothing I have experienced before. My wife and I have been able to mend the wounds and work towards a healthy marriage, putting God first."
                                                         -K.M.

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